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Saying Goodbye

One thing I detest is saying Goodbye. Such a final word. Goodbye. As I sat in the taxi, watching the familiar roads zip by, I remembered how it was. Six years ago, a fifteen year old Clare leaving Singapore. Leaving the country which was utterly familiar to her, leaving a country which was home to a foreign place. Leaving friends that had been with her through thick and thin, sunshine and rain. The same friends that had laughed with her, spent 3 hours every morning on Saturday mornings going through retardedly funny Red Cross rituals. But, the fun! And the friendship, and trust.

Hmmm

A Japanese doctor says, “Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in six weeks.” A German doctor says, “That is nothing. We can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in four weeks.” A British doctor says, “In my country medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have both of them out looking for work in two weeks.” The Canadian doctor, not to be outdone, interjected, “You guys are way behind. We took a woman with no brains, sent her to Michigan where she became Governor, and now half the state is out looking for work.”

I miss my family so much it hurts.

Revelation

As I write this, I am a tad bit inebriated. On a whiskey and diet cola, I know, pathetic isn’t it? However, I have never proclaimed to be a proficient drinker, and I suppose that losing some of my inhibitions will ensure that this post is more honest (if it even makes sense). I was listening to a song today on the plane, and the lyrics really hit home. “Oh, look what you’ve done/ You’ve made a fool out of everyone./ Oh, it seems like such fun/until you lose what you have won…“. And, I think to myself, what have I done? Who am I fooling, by being here?

ICanHazACheezburger?

An Update

It’s that time of the year again (exams) so yours truly is procrastinating by writing a blogpost ;) I’m at the EDFAA library now and wow it`s mega cool, except the computers don`t have audio listening capabilities. I miss having an ipod since I left my laptop at home (way too distracting).

SO basically this week my schedule will be a rly boring one
9am Wake up breakfast COFFEE pack up stuff Go To Library
10am Get to library studystudystudy STUDY somemore studystudystudy moan about not having an ipod
5pm Break, DRIVE HOME vroom vroom vroom showertime (wheeeeee) grab Dinner drive back to Library
6pm Studystudytime
10.30pm Drive home (sweet home)
11pm COffEEtiME <3 & procrastinationtime
1am STUDYSTUDY :(
2am SWEET DREAMZ

OMG what a boring week ahead >.> but yeah, unless I can be otherwise motivated to post other posts this will be it for awhile.

We’re going down,
And you can see it too.
We’re going down,
And you know that we’re doomed.
My dear,
We’re slow dancing in a burning room.

Sometimes you  just have to do the hard thing I suppose. Not everything lasts forever, and we have to remember that no matter how much hardship we go through in our life, there is always going to be that fragile place in our heart even if we no longer think it exists.

~

Who ?

I wake up in the morning
Put on my face
The one that’s gonna get me
Through another day
Doesn’t really matter
How I feel inside
This life is like a game sometimes

Life, what is it really?

Ask the poor, and to them Life may be having clothes on their back, three warm meals a day. Ask the rich, and they may tell you that Life is to be able to live a life of luxury. Ask a terminally ill patient, to them life may be the ability to get by day by day without delibitating pain.

Life, a myriad of details, with no instruction guide on how to win it.

Sometimes, I disgust myself with how weak I am. My mind thinks one thing, in my heart I am strong. But what comes out of my mouth is at total odds with what I actually mean/ want. It’s by no means compulsive lying, nowhere near as subconscious and it is not meant to be vindicative, but I dissapoint myself and lie to myself over and over again.

Sometimes I miss my family so much it actually physically hurts to be away from them. Sometimes I wished that I’d never come over here, that I still study in NUS. Then again, sometimes I love this place and the chances and opportunities it offers people, to be more than what other people tag them as.

I’m not making much sense am I?

But for now, it seems my path is set in stone for better or worse. And I will, I have to make the best of it.